Valentime's Day

Well people...it's that time of year again. The time of year for conversation hearts, pink M+M's, flowers and annoying radio commercials. It's Valentime's Day!



If you're not lucky enough to have someone you engage in role play, or haven't had the chance to pick up a Russian hooker to spend the night with then you might be depressed OR you might be in a FUNCTIONAL relationship. If the latter is the case, may I be so bold as to make some suggestions?

1. Flowers and chocolates are the "I couldn't really think of anything to get you so I got you this..." gift. But if you're pressed for time or feeling un-inspired, or just wanna "get some" they may work well for you. Just please be creative and check out some alternative options. For example, Elenis makes some cute cookies which are also DELICIOUS. Martha Stewart knows her way around the garden (even better than the jail cell) so her flowers are FAR SUPERIOR to 1-800-Flowers or the corner bodega's. Also, send flowers to the office so your significant other can show them off...it makes them feel cool.

If chocolate is your thing, perhaps get jiggy with it and invest in some chocolate body paint or some unique flavored chocolate -- lavender infused perhaps? At least with these options you've upped the ante to "Hey, I might not be creative, but I TRIED. Now let's finger paint."

2. If you're broke (I'm still wondering when this will cease to be the case for me...) making something is pretty awesome. Some of my faves include a mix -- load it up with makeout music (according to my mom, this is Johnny Mathis) if that's your thing...otherwise just put some good music that makes you think of your "boo" on a disc and call it a day. With I-Tunes and Limewire etc...this is super easy. No excuses.

Make a card -- that's right; take out the markers and the lace doilies, sniff some glue and make something for your lova'. Nothing says "I heart you" like an old-school Valentine's day card.

Bake/Cook: I think the way to anyone's heart is food...unless you are crazy. Don't forget the booze. Even the most broke person knows you need booze. And kids, let's not forget Ciroc is the "Official Voka of Valentime's Day" plus it's made from grapes! YUMMY.

3. If you don't do V-Day and you're newly dating...tell the other person! THE WORST THING EVER is to think you're gonna have some romantic evening or wait all day for YOUR flower delivery and have nothing happen. It's like getting picked last for kickball...SCARRING.

I have much more to say about Valentime's day...because in 30 years, I have had many. So there is more to come my friends...however, now I need to run out and grab some pink M+M's...they just taste like looooooooooove.